PokeShinobi: A Really Douchy Quest
by gorutovssageta
Summary: Craaackfic! Itachi Uchiha stars as the leader of a brigade of idiots, including Ash, Naruto, Sasuke, Tobi/Madara and Konan! With the arrival of enemies such as TR, Gary Oak, and other idiots, can Team PokeShinobi overcome? Rated M, just for Itachi.


_Welcome to my second crack-fic! I made my first one, Goku and Naruto GTWC, now I bring you Naruto and Pokemon! The story begins where six people from Naruto are brought to the world of Pokemon and set loose! I changed up the personalities of the characters, so here they are! I don't own anything but the story!_

_Itachi Uchiha: One of the main trainers of Team Naruto. Swears a lot and like to be sarcastic. Never is in a good mood. Thinks that little kids are really annoying and likes to pelt them with Poke-balls. A bit of an arsonist. His favorite Pokemon: Growlithe and Scyther._

_Naruto Uzumaki: Wow, he's second on the list? Yeah, get over it. He's more of a back up character for Itachi. Likes to eat ramen and molest Dawn and May. His favorite Pokemon: Charizard and Lucario._

_Sasuke Uchiha: The emo goth Pokemon trainer that has a secret Squirtle stuffed animal collection. Likes to be extremely dramatic with situations that don't call for it. Favorite Pokemon: Elekid and Blastoise._

_Tobi/Madara: Kind of a Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde thing. Usually he's retarted and harmless, but watch out when he becomes Madara! He's evil and really douchy. Favorite Pokemon: Gengar and Houndoom (Madara) _

_Ash: The harmless kid that just happened to be at Professor Oak's laboratory when this craziness began. Dreams of becoming a Pokemon champion, which he is constantly reminded by Itachi that the dream is gay. Favorite Pokemon: Pikachu and Charmander. _

_Konan: Even though she usually keeps to herself, Konan is actually a bitch. With her paper skin and quite demeanor, you would think not, but she's a total bitch. Get her agitated (Like Brock does when he flirts with her) and you will see how bitchy this Trainer really is! Favorite Pokemon: None _

Chapter 1, Kanto: The Start of Something Stupid

It was a sunny little day in Pallet Town. As ten years old Ash Ketchum walked down to the famous Pokemon researcher Professor Oak's research lab, he smiled as the sun beamed gently down upon his face. As he continued walking in his pajamas, he smiled as he reached the research lab. There was a small line, a tall man with long black hair standing in front of him. He was wearing a long black robe, red insignias covering the robe. He looked straight ahead as he moved along with the line, Ash following with skepticism.

"Hey mister, are you a Pokemon trainer?" Ash asked as the man didn't say a word. "I mean, isn't this the line to receive a starter Pokemon from Professor Oak? You seem a lot older than 10..."

"And you seem like you touch yourself at night," the man answered without turning around. "Shut the hell up and stand in the line douchebag." Ash shut his mouth as the man moved up to the front, Oak coming out as the man stood there.

"So, you are the next one huh?" Oak asked as he motioned for the man to come in. "You seem a lot older than 10..."

"And you need boner pills to get it up at night," the man replied as he looked at the professor. "Now let's stop pointing out the obvious and give me my damn creature!"

"Hey, no fair Itachi!" a voice shouted as a man wearing the same identical robe as the previous man pushed past Ash, opening the door to the research lab. "I wanted the Pokeman creature too!"

"Stop whining like you are five Tobi," Itachi muttered as he pushed the orange masked wearing man away from him. "Go back outside and wait with the others before I light you on fire again."

"Tobi a good boy! Tobi don't want to get hit by the fire attack again!" Tobi exclaimed as Oak watched this with confusion.

"Don't you want your Pokemon?" Oak asked as Itachi turned back to him.

"No, I came here to argue with a fucking retard and listen to you ask dumb questions," Itachi answered sarcastically as always as he looked at Oak with his piercing red eyes. "I need six of those god damn monsters for me and my associates."

"Uh, I don't know if I can just give you six Pokemon," Oak replied as Itachi chuckled.

"Well it's either that or me and Tobi will go on a killing spree, starting with your family," Itachi replied coldly as Oak raised an eyebrow. As Ash stood waiting outside, Itachi and Tobi walked out of the lab, both holding three Poke-Balls.

"Hey, how did you guys get so much Pokemon?" Ash asked as Tobi pushed him to the ground, Itachi chuckling softly.

"I think I'll use one of my new Pokemon," Itachi muttered as he sent the first Pokemon out of it's ball, turning out to be a Charmander. As Charmander came out of it's ball, it looked up at Itachi and started to hump his leg uncontrollably.

"Dammit, get this bastard off of me!" Itachi shouted as he tried to pull Charmander off his leg. "Tobi, do something you asshole!"

"Poke it with a stick or something," Tobi suggested as Ash held in his laughter.

"Dam it, GET OFF ME!" Itachi screamed as he pulled Charmander off his leg and punted the small Pokemon away.

"What are you guys doing with these Pokemon anyway?" Ash asked as Itachi glared at the child.

"Are you writing a fucking book kid?" Itachi asked menacingly, Ash looking away nervously. "If you are, I want it to be called "The Day Itachi Killed The Nosy Ass Kid" and make the cover a picture of me strangling you. Now shut the fuck up and get your own Pokemon kid." Ash nodded as he remembered he was indeed next in line to obtain his very own starter Pokemon. Ash entered the lab cautiously, seeing most of the lab was charred and destroyed.

"Those bastard Trainers stole all of my Pokemon," Oak muttered as he sat in a corner, pouting over the disappearance of his Pokemon. "Now all I have is this semi retarded Pikachu that does respond to anything, just shock people instead. Maybe I can persuade some idiot to take it… Oh, are you a Pokemon trainer?" Oak looked up at Ash as Ash looked back, nodding with an eager grin.

"Yes sir, I was wondering if it isn't too late to obtain my own Pokemon?" Ash asked politely, Oak quickly standing to his feet as he looked at the only item in the lab not destroyed by Itachi and Tobi.

"Yes, this here is a very "special" Pikachu that I would like you to train," Oak remarked as he opened the container consisting of only one Poke-Ball.

"When you said special, why did you do those quotation marks with your hands?" Ash wondered, Oak sweat dropping nervously as he chuckled.

"No reason… Hey kid, what's your name?"

"Ash Ketchum."

"Ash Ketchup you say? Well nice to meet you lad, I'm Professor Oak, world renowned Pokemon Professor. Whenever you have a Pokemon question, or just want to bitch and moan like my ex wife, just call me!"

"I will be sure to do so sir!" Ash exclaimed as Oak handed him the Poke-Ball, a bright light covering the area as the Pokemon inside the ball came out. A small Pikachu stood before Ash now, looking around the area curiously as Ash looked down at it in awe. The Pikachu looked up at Ash, Ash looking back at it with a broad smile on his face.

"You might need these kid," Oak warned as he handed Ash a pair of rubber gloves, Ash looking at the gloves with skeptism. "Rubber blocks electricity, remember that well son!"

"Why would I…?" Ash started as the Pikachu let out a roar, sending volts of electricity across the room, everyone in the room getting shocked.

"Hey, we came back to steal that last Poke-Ball that for some reason we didn't steal when we were here," Itachi announced as he and Tobi walked into the lab. "Hey, what the hell is that thing doing? Is it a Tobi?"

"A what?" Ash asked, Itachi shaking his head in annoyance.

"A retard asshole," Itachi responded as he held out his Poke-Ball, which held his Charmander. "Time to do some battle. GO, CHARMANDER!" Itachi tossed the Poke-Ball at Ash, the Poke-Ball bouncing off Ash's head as Charmander emerged from the ball. When Charmander emerged, he looked back at Itachi, who sighed loudly as Charmander rushed over to hump his leg.

"Stupid, defective asshole," Itachi grumbled as Tobi sighed.

"Tobi has been a good boy, why Itachi be so mean?" Tobi asked, looking down at the ground unhappily.

"Tobi, FIRE STYLE: FIREBALL JUTSU!" Itachi suddenly shouted, sending the Uchiha signature jutsu at Tobi, the attack going through the original Uchiha's body, Itachi's eyes widening in shock.

"Hmm, nice try Itachi-san…"

"Madara, is that you…?"

No longer did Tobi stand before Itachi, it was now Madara Uchiha, Tobi's alternate self.

"Wait, did he just change or something?" Ash wondered aloud, even Pikachu looking over in confusion.

"Everyone in this room shall die!" Madara shouted, followed by an evil, way too long laugh. "Now, go my evil Pokemon!" Madara pulled out a Poke-Ball from nowhere, tossing it out with a dramatic, evil flare. Everyone looked in horror as the Pokemon emerged, a white light casting around the room. As the Pokemon appeared, Madara looked down at it, his laughter dying out slowly as the white light subsided.

"Is that… A Magikarp?" Oak asked, trying to stifle his laughter. Everyone in the room exploded with laughter, Madara looking down at the Pokemon with utter embarrassment.

"This is ridiculous… Leave it to my other self to choose such a worthless Pokemon…" Madara moaned as his personality went back into slumber, Tobi returning to the scene.

"So, did you get our Pokemon?" a voice asked behind Itachi, Itachi looking back to see Naruto Uzumaki and Sasuke Uchiha, followed by Konan.

"Naruto, did you remember to not be gay for my brother today?" Itachi asked sarcastically as Naruto hmphed, looking away from Itachi's gaze. "Sasuke, stop being an emo bastard, I got you a Pokemon too."

"No brother, my Pokemon will kill yours for something you did like mad long ago," Sasuke threatened, Itachi shaking his head as he looked away from Sasuke.

"So, shall we get going ?" Konan asked her teammates, Ash walking up to Itachi with his eyes widened.

"Um, can I join you guys on your Pokemon quest?" Ash asked timidly, Itachi looking down at Ash with his Sharingan activated menacingly.

"Hmm, leave the lotion and your socks at home kid," Itachi murmured as he left the laboratory, Ash following the crew with a confused look on his face…

To be continued…


End file.
